I Can Do Hard Things

 

You know what, I can do really hard things.

I’ve been compiling bullet points over the last month-ish and decided to turn it into a blog. Most of the time I write to remind me of happiness, sadness and other times, but this blog is my personal journal that I happen to share.

Let me break it down.

I went into the month of December thrilled! Christmas was coming up, I had a fantastic job that I loved, my family was healthy, well… mostly. Jeremy was coming down with a weird cold like illness, but we were going strong. But, like they say, when things are going well, it’s almost like you should expect things to start going wrong.

On December 2^nd , I was laid off with the only explanation being that my boss didn't see his company going in the direction he’d taken and didn't want to do it anymore and that he wouldn't need me after that day. Twenty days before Christmas. No notice, no severance, nothing. Done.

This has been my favorite job to date. I wasn't only ridiculously worried about myself and our situation, but my co-workers had all just been laid off as well, some with families to support, too. And you know what, it was a really crappy thing for him to do.

I updated my resume and hit the internet pavement, applying everywhere. I got lots of calls about interviews, but when they found out that I would only be able to work a very particular schedule to accommodate me dropping off/picking up my daughter, I was wished luck, but turned away. After a couple weeks of interviews, I was offered a job at a supplement place. I was absolutely thrilled! They were going to work with me and my schedule, it seemed like a fast paced environment, and let’s be honest- it was a job.

I got this job offer on Friday the 12^th and was asked to start the next Monday. Sunday night, I started feeling sick. Remember when I said that Jeremy had some sort of illness at the beginning of the month? It had finally passed down to me. I figured I was just nervous to start a new job and it wasn't as bad as I thought.

I got there and there wasn't enough parking to accommodate all their employees, so I parked behind a warehouse and took the long walk to get to the building. I won’t go into much detail, but they weren't really prepared to take on another receptionist. They already had one gal, and although they had two computers at reception, only one of them actually worked. After one entire day there, I can honestly say I learned nothing. Also, as the day progressed, I started feeling worse. I could feel myself getting feverish and when I finally left, I was so relieved to blast the AC in my car. I got much worse overnight and started having flu symptoms and had no choice but to ask if I could take a sick day. The second day of work and I had to take a sick day. Buh. This gave me major anxiety because the other receptionist was going out of town for the Holidays and I had to learn the entire job in 4 days and now I was down to 3. I figured I’d sleep it off that day and hurry back on Wednesday. This was not the case. I got substantially worse. It was closing night of Christmas Story as well and I wanted to go SO BADLY, but while Jeremy was teaching piano, I trudged off to the doctor to see what I could do. Final diagnosis- pneumonia and influenza A. Awesome.  Jeremy  had to take the baby to closing night, while I feel asleep around 7pm.

To try to make this story shorter, I lost my job at the supplement company because of my illness. Nothing I could do. Devastated. No job, no health.

However, the day after I accepted the job at the supplement company, I got a call from a guy that wanted to interview me, but I told him I had already accepted another job. He gave me his info in case it fell through and said he’d love to speak to me. So, hey… things at the supplement place fell through. I took a second to sob after I got the call that I was let go, then called him.

So here’s the thing about pneumonia- you don’t sound good when you talk. You actually sound really scary. Really, really scary. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I just called this guy and found out that he’s an insurance agent and really needed an Executive Administrator. We talked for about 45 minutes and he gave me the job over the phone. This was fantastic for my self-confidence! I started with him on December 22^nd and have just been putting along, learning the job, really feeling like I've already been able to help him out a lot. Turns out, knowing Microsoft Office is really beneficial, especially Excel. So, I have a job I really like so far. I have a beautiful view and my own balcony, and when it’s warm, I can’t wait to open the door and let the breeze flow through.

Then, Christmas and New Year’s happened. After being laid off, all I could do was think about how much I was looking forward to the Holiday’s. I really needed the Holiday’s this year. I needed that happiness and that spirit so badly! We had family coming into town that we hadn't seen for a long time and, yeah. I needed it to be really good this year after the crap that had happened so far.

I don’t want to go too much into what happened, but things didn't turn out great. It was a really disappointing holiday, but despite what Jeremy and I did to try to make it great, the spirit was ruined and I really left exhausted and upset. We did have a fantastic New Year celebration with lots of food, candy, drinks, and movies. That was relaxing and so needed.

But, of course the universe couldn't let things rest there. We had gotten a letter from our City stating that our water usage was astronomical and that we probably had a leak somewhere. We had a plumber check it out and came to the conclusion that our water main had a break somewhere and would cost an arm and a leg to repair. It was repaired and thankfully, the final cost was on the lower end of the bid. Silver linings. It’s all about the silver linings in things, people.

So here we are. The second week of January and still alive.

You know what? It could have been so much worse. We are all relatively healthy, no one is dead or hurt, and we have each other. I can absolutely say that if I didn't have Jeremy, I wouldn't have survived this horrible month. He’s so freaking amazing and I am so lucky to have someone as strong as he is. The guy is a freaking rock!

So, you know what, 2014? I CAN DO HARD THINGS! 

Wait...What?

Crazy dreams from past memories woke me up this morning. I hate dreams like that- ya know, reliving horrible embarrassments from you past. It’s like, I consciously know what’s going to happen, what’s going to come out of my mouth, yet I still say it, I still see that horrible reaction, and want to die. 

This particular dream this morning was from my first day in my college psych class. Silly me, I thought that once you got to college, you didn’t have to do those stupid “get to know you” moments in class. My professor ended short and said, turn around and get to know your classmates for the rest of the time. I am extremely shy and very much an introvert so this was excruciating! I made some small talk with the people around me, then, good gosh, I can still picture exactly what this guy looked like and what he was wearing…. anyways, he looked at me and said “Hey, what’s your sign?”

My mind started racing- what’s a sign?? WHAT IS A SIGN?!?!?! It wouldn’t hurt to mention that I’d never heard of the zodiac.

What kind of signs where? Instantly my mind went to road signs. Of all the signs in this stupid world, road signs is what my little brain could come with. My reply “For News, Traffic, and Weather, tune into KSL 1160.” Sidenote- that was my favorite sign. You could see it getting off the freeway going southbound on University Ave. It was brown with a white boarder. It always made me sign the sing- KSL News Radio 1160! 

You can guess how silent it went after that. 

I knew my answer was wrong by this gut wrenching reaction. A simple google search opened up an entirely new world of the zodiac for me. 

And for the record, I’m an Aries.

Snow Capped Mountains

I have a lovely view outside of our beautiful mountains. I remember living in places with no mountains and as much as I find nit picky things to dislike about living in Utah, I really do enjoy those mountains. Especially right now as it’s snowy, but not all the leaves have dropped. So gorgeous. 

Gonna be honest- I’m writing this for Kaylee today. She told me that she checks my blog, sometimes daily, for updates. This made me feel so good. So, so good! It’s always nice to hear that people like to see what you write. 

I sent Elder Elquist a package off this morning. Let me back up- as a family, we wrote him up a bunch of little thoughts, stories, jokes and other tid bits, as well as a full letter from each of us. Put the thoughts and letters in envelopes and sorted it out so he’ll get a little letter and candy each day for the month of December, then on Christmas day, he’ll get a letter from each of us. I totally stole this idea from a friend that posted in on FB, and I even went back to try to find out who originally had this idea and can’t remember. So, friend on FB that posted this- thank you! You’ll probably never see this blog, but I’m just putting it out in the universe. I took the package to the Post Office this morning and it will get to his mission home on Thursday of this week!

Jeremy sent me a link to a website that replaced the word “Philistines” with “Haters” in Bible verses. Here are a couple of my favorites-

Genesis 26:14

“He had so many flocks and herds and servants that the haters envied him.”

Judges 15:12

“They said to him, ‘We’ve come to tie you up and hand you over to the haters.’”

1 Samuel 14:20

“Then Saul and all his men assembled and went to the battle. They found the haters in total confusion, striking each other with their swords.”

Um…Brilliant, right??

Those haters…

We are eight days away from Thanksgiving, I’m mapping out my approach to Black Friday, shopping for ingredients for the stuffing my husband makes, and secretly hoping we get to sneak in a Thanksgiving/Christmas movie tonight since Jeremy doesn’t have rehearsal tonight. 

Woot woot!

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

I’ve had a pretty typical exercise routine the last few months and I’m finally at the point where I’ve stopped seeing results and I’m just maintaining. Last night I decided I wanted to see more results, tone, and possibly some weight loss in target areas, so I up’d my routine exponentially. This was a huge mistake. My abs have been pulsing. It’s really unpleasant. 

We had the first real snow of the season yesterday. I mean like, really real. It stuck to the grass, roads, sidewalks and all that jazz. Jeremy has been in rehearsals for Christmas Story, so Lucy and I braved the elements once I got home from work and shoveled our driveway. She was a great help! If anything, keeping me company is great help since we have a huge shoveling job. Our driveway is rather large, but then we also have a corner property, so we are responsible for the sidewalk in front of the house as well as what’s on the side. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but when you’re walking along with a snow shovel full of wet, sloshy snow, it starts to seem like a lot. But, I’m thankful that I have a huge shoveling responsibility. I have a lovely home and darn it, my yard/house/property looks AMAZING covered in fresh snow. 

Lucy is really into that song on the radio by Echo Smith “Cool Kids” lately. She can’t quite say cool kids and it comes out sounding like cookies. It’s ridiculously cute when my kid starts singing “wish ah be llllllllliiiiiiiiii a cookie!”. Gosh, that kid can be such a butt. The terrible two’s have kicked in. She’s stubborn, moody, and so much more, but I love that little moody girl. I rocked her to sleep after we read books and said our prayers and right before she fell asleep, she reached up and touched my face and “Mama, love you, night night”. I LOVE BEING A MOM!

I’m making some DIY Disney ornaments today while Lucy is napping. This is pretty awesome for so many reasons, but mostly because I get to write up a guide and then write an article on it with pictures to submit to the Disney site I’ve been reviewing for. I have a couple really good ideas and can’t wait to execute. Christmas and Disney!! Yay!

A Much Needed Laugh

Good gosh. Yesterday I got the best laugh. Like, laughing so hard I was gasping for air, had to excuse myself to go outside and even then, I couldn’t pull myself together. 

Even thinking about it now, I’m giggling. 

It wasn’t at anyone’s expense, just a perfectly timed comment, “Well that escalated in a hurry…..”. 

Oh, my gosh- I’m dying! I guess it’s one of those ones where you have to be there, but really, not making fun of anyone, but the timing was impeccable. 

My point is, as I’ve been smiling over this for the last twenty four hours, I’ve been thinking, we all need more laughter in our lives. Like, true, unadulterated, honest laughter. I’ve been blessed with the most amazing in-laws. Every time we get together, we have this kind of laughter. I mean, I laugh at TV shows, funny things in the news, and that kind of stuff, but I realize the thing that gives me a true laugh and fuzzy feeling inside, is my family. 

My family. Bringing that honest, amazing laughter in my life for five years and for many, many more. 

Here's The Thing...

So, here’s the thing.

I got married almost 5 years ago. I’m not sure if it was discussed before or after the actual marriage, but I’ve always known my husband can’t deal with the puke. 

When time came that we started talking about having a baby, it was brought up again. He doesn’t do the puke. He’ll do the broken bones, he’ll do the bloody stuff. Not the puke. Never. Ever. 

This was fine for me- I was a pukey child. Doesn’t bother me. 

What I didn’t account for, where the nights when my baby wakes up, I go in to comfort her and she projectile vomits, I mean like poltergeist vomit, all over me, the four walls, carpet, bed- when she hoses down EVERYTHING. Or, when she pukes down both my front and back, all over the kitchen floor, leaving no where to go without making an ungodly mess as I trudge up the stairs. 

Yes, I can deal with the puke, but I didn’t account for the unpredictability. Not having her nicely empty her stomach in one, convenient place. 

So, back to the thing. The thing is, whenever she pukes, I look at my husband with desperation, holding a crying baby, and he instantly takes the vomit covered baby, comforts her, and takes her to the bath to be cleaned off. 

This, people of the internet, is an amazing thing. No hesitation. He doesn’t stop to remind me that he doesn’t do puke, it’s my thing that I very willingly agreed to. He bathes her, plays with the Batman bath toys with her, drys her off and dresses her and holds her. I also have to mention the times where she continued to puke and he still calmly performed all those tasks. 

Was he screaming in his head, wondering if her head would start spinning around? Perhaps. But here’s the thing, he did it anyways. 

And, there is nothing more attractive than a man who truly loves his daughter. 

Mmm, Cake

Today I start my adventure.

I told you in my last blog about a test cake I was making for a my friend’s sister, but the time has come to start making it. Today. Still have anxiety about it being perfect, but I got a lot of reassurance when they came to see/eat the test cake. It was actually amazingly delicious! I shouldn’t be so surprised, but the flavors they chose really came together beautifully. I took pictures that I considered posting, but I don’t want pictures of the cake floating around out on the inter webs. The cake is actually a surprise- they know it’s being made, but the brides don’t actually know what it looks like. It’s going to be such a lovely day and I’m so honored to be a part of it!

 Maybe the next blog will have pictures.

 Lucy is at the age where she repeats everything she hears. I knew this was coming but I didn’t KNOW It was coming. She’s so in love with pop songs on the radio right now, but while listening to Taylor Swift’s new song Shake It Off, when she does that little cheer in the middle, (can we call it a cheer? Do I only associate it with a cheer since it’s what she does in the music video), at one point she says “Oh, my-“, to which Lucy, from the backseat of the car screams “GOD!!”.

 Oops.

 Why did she choose that one word to single out? Looks like I have to start muting more.

In other news, I’ve been re-watching the Friends TV show. It brings me great happiness that she loves the theme song so much she sings along. Have you ever watched a one year old try to clap along with that song? I have and it’s pretty adorable.

In the next few weeks, there’s going to be a change in my life. I don’t think this change qualifies as “major” (I’m not pregnant, moving, leaving a job, ect.), but it feels major to me. I think I’ve needed this change for awhile though. I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts on it in the future I’ll share. At this time, until the time comes, I’m going to enjoy what I have while I have it.

While watching the series finale of The Office again, Andy says something that’s always stuck with me from the first time I heard it-

 "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them"

For real, though! It makes me really think. You know what, I bet I’m in the good old days right now. 

OH, MY GOSH! Rold Gold makes these little pretzel thins that are so good! Garlic Parmesan. Try them. You’ll have horrible breath, but you won’t care.

 Remember Penelope from SNL? You don’t?! If you have the time, you should watch this-

 

Okay, so now that you know, someone has come into my life who is EXACTLY like Penelope. You guys, it’s so exact it’s scary. Some of the stories this person tells are so far out there, not only have I messed with him to see if they are actually true, but this person digs a hole so big, they start to forget all the stories they’ve told. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to convince me that THEY drive the Mr. Peanut car…

 I’m ready for a weekend. It will be a crazy weekend, but I’m ready for one. Doesn’t it seem like when you’re anticipating the weekend, your week goes by as slow as molasses?

 Alrighty, blog. Consider yourself loved.