The Sneeze That Almost Popped My Eyeballs Out

I'm sick today. But, it seems like everyone in Utah has a bug. I call it the "we all got too used to the unseasonably warm weather, and now that it's cold again, we are all sick- physically and mentally". I've diagnosed it to many people.

But truly, I'm sick. Not sick enough to stop functioning, but not well enough to not feel like I really will fall asleep, eyes open. Sidenote- my siblings used to fall asleep with their eyes open and when I'd check on them at night, I can attest that there is nothing more terrifying than a toddler looking back at you when they are obviously asleep. 

You know how everyone says that if you sneeze with your eyes open, they'll pop out? Ya know, you heard stories on the playground about the kid that was trying to escape school by climbing the chain link fence and when he got to the top he accidentally got his thumb caught and ripped it clean off (actual true story), and the story about the kid that sneezed with his eyes open while he was going down the slide and his eyes rolled down the slide (not actually true... I hope). 

I can't honestly say I've ever tried to sneeze, eyes open. Ew.

My sinuses are completely blocked. Both nose holes... inflamed. You really take breathing out of your nose for granted, especially living somewhere so dry. Take a second and thank your nose for being clear and healthy. Anyways, I felt a sneeze coming and figured I could push it out through my nose to maybe... you know what, I don't even know what I was thinking. I didn't keep my eyes open, they were very firmly shut, but I FELT MY EYES POP OUT OF MY FREAKING HEAD! I have never been more confident, 100% sure that I would have lost my eyeballs if I had opened my eyes even a little!

GROOOOOOOOSS!

Also, I just have to put a plug in for mom purses. If you asked me to show you what was in my purse five years ago, you'd find my MAC, Urban Decay, no sugar gum, trendy wallet, fruity lotions, and a giant array of lipstick and glosses. Once I became a mom, the MAC was exchanged for smarties, the no sugar gum became individual packages of Teddy Grahams, the lipsticks and glosses- a small pharmacy, and not least, fruity lotions were replaced with more sensible lotions sensitive enough for a baby, but strong enough for dry skin. 

I'm telling ya- with the onset of this cold, I've been nothing but well prepared. I lean over to my trusty purse, and not only do I have medicines to ease the discomfort, but I even have a tasty snack. Win-win!