Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair

I’m having a really good hair day today. I figured I would let it flow in all of its natural curly glory, but only because I’ve gone weeks of frying it with my straightener, and surprisingly, it looks magnificent today! I only say this because, as most people with curly locks know, it truly is difficult to get curly hair to curl in the perfect way. It takes an aligning of the stars, a full moon, and a day full of rain and humidity, which thankfully, I have all three.

Blogging again. Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve done this. I contemplated just trashing my old blog, but was advised to leave it up. I read over it, and it was cathartic to realize how far I’ve come in the few years of blogging I had accumulated. I lived through high school, college, changing jobs, and so on and so on. While reading, I decided to close my eyes and revisit my old self in each situation that befell me.

I’ve come to a blunt realization that I’ve changed.

Don’t get me wrong, change isn’t bad at all, but I, on one hand, DO NOT love change. I feel totally and completely comfortable with everything going the way that I am used to, but in the last year, my life has changed so much! I married the man that I pined after for years, moved out of the house that I had, in reality, only knew, I became a wife and an aunt, got a new job, and started to realize what I was about to become and *GULP*, what I was going to change into.

I can now say that I am working on what I want to be, but I’m not there yet. Growing up, I thought that once you were married, you became the working, cookie baking, house cleaning, errand running, grocery shopping, cutesie apron wearing wife. I totally remember making a list when I was in church about the things I had to have in a spouse and the things I needed to be as a wife and mother, and granted, the things on my lists were good things, but they weren’t realistic things. Also, as I grew, I realized that all of those things weren’t exactly the things I wanted. Yeah, I guess would like to sit at home and make cookies all day and clean and make sure that my apartment was always in pristine condition to have friends over, but that’s not what I REALLY want to do. I really like my job. I really like being busy. I would go stir crazy if I had to stay at home all day cleaning and baking. Then it hit me like a piano falling out of a New York skyscraper- I don’t have to be the “model housewife”. My husband doesn’t expect, or want me to be all the things that I wrote down on that list. That list is impossible. I’m ecstatic!! I get to choose who I want to be! Now those of you reading this are probably thinking, “duh…we all choose who we want to be”, but I feel like I’ve been reborn, in a sense. Almost like I get to start over, a clean start, a….change.

I’m thrilled right now! I can say that change, although can still be scary, is not what I thought it was anymore. I’m ready to take on whatever life hands me, and I’m ready to be who I want to be. ME! So, look out world, I’m ready to make a change in me to become what I want to be.